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{permissions // how's my driving? // IC contact // overflow // activity}

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?

02. he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"

03. Can you repeat that, but with actual words and context?

04. the abomination is in progress. at least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook.

02. i'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. i'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.

03. I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.

04. I'm not threatening you, but I have a really strong urge to physically assault you.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. it has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my acquaintances

02. Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future

03. I just talked to her. She really hates you. Like a lot.

04. I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. I really hope you aren't where I think you are.

02. Bite me.

03. We are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too vanilla for a threesome?

04. but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. After those antics you’re fortunate I don’t put you on laundry duty for a month.

02. What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.

03. The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter. He is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.

04. I maintain that he embarrassed himself.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. My arms are still sore. Karaoke was a mistake.

02. Why are there detailed drawings for dinosaur jousting on my desk?

03. Oh, I'm not afraid to say I told you so. As I did, in fact, tell you so.

04. You want to know the most I have gotten from a man recently? A headache.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. In case you wake up wondering why you're all singed... You were screaming 'all gods are bastards' during a thunderstorm.

02. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying he's denying what you're saying.

03. You stumbled in camp high as a kite, and ran into a tree. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."

04. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

gen texts

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not a coincidence.

02. it's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus can talk and get drunk

03. Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy?

04. Yes, I know, you've declared blue a flavor.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. Amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.

02. I'm taking a shower and I’m gonna bring a knife with me.

03. I said "one day" and that day is not today

04. I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. we left the sword in your bed.

02. Look, nobody understood you. You kept speaking bad Greek and trying to hide.

03. I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up covered in flour and there was a javelin through my tv.

04. You said I revealed your weakness to your greatest enemy.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. It’s 2 AM. You have 12 seconds to explain.

02. they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.

03. I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock

04. After 12 shots, he tried to show us knife tricks. You can imagine how that went.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not.

02. You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.

03. he was sending me dirty texts but I was reading a book and couldn't get into it

04. You don't know pain until you've watched fifty bros in togas chanting a botched hymn to Mars.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread, you can knock them unconscious?

02. Convince me this is a good idea or I'm about to change my mind.

03. why does every april fools day end up with someone bleeding for real?

04. I had an intense nightmare last night and when I woke up I was outside. I'm just glad I didn't go to bed naked.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. Oh... This is where I give you advice and pretend you're going to listen to it. I like this part.

02. There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.

03. He gave up on mugging us when we wouldn't stop laughing

04. Go to hell is so abstract. "Get trapped in a porta potty for 67 months." Now that's specific. That's possible. That's terrifying.

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. One of these days I'm going to roll my eyes too hard and I'm going to go blind.

02. Someone lost their sword and now everyone's crying. This went downhill fast.

03. technically you made out with our second cousin last night.

04. there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now

05. [Text her.]

Entry tags:

m: tfln

tfln

01. You’re not useless because you can still be used as a bad example.

02. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.

03. I need advice on how to politely say "fuck you on your way to hell" while maintaining a professional business relationship.

04. On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be?

05. [Text her.]

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